summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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