dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
