I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
