I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
