I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
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