Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
