3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
