i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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