I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
