We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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