I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
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