Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
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