I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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