Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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