i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Randomize
