3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
