She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
