But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Randomize
