this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
