hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
you win again, gameday.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
