I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
