she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
