i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
