i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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