I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
