she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Randomize
