next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
