i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Come on in and take your pants off
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