I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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