exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize
