dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
