Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize
