Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
