he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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