Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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