This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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