It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Fuck appropriateness.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
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