sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
