Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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