these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
