whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
