Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
