Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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