Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
