Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
