I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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