i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
