Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Randomize
