your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize