I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Randomize
