I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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