sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Randomize
