come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize