I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Randomize
