you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
