Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
