if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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