ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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