okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
