if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
