I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
be right there i have to get my cape
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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