I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
