i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
