..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
