I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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