I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Randomize
